


Love is cruel

by YGJK97



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 08:41:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2645441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YGJK97/pseuds/YGJK97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver didn't want to fall in love, but when he fell- he fell hard. </p><p>'Finally got it done, but not really satisfied with it'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is cruel

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo…did I ever mention how procrastination is kinda like my biggest fault in life? I didn't- well now you know~ 
> 
> Enjoy!!! 
> 
> Oh, one more thing I didn't proof read, sorry.

It was supposed to be something that ended quickly, it was supposed to just be sexual desire, a quick beginning and a quick end. It wasn't supposed to be a cause and effect. The cause being: meeting Connor Walsh and having sex with him, the effect eventually ending with: falling in love. It was quite pathetic to be honest, something he had both feared and grew over joyed in. 

But if he was still going to be honest in this rant he might as well go on and say that he was just completely idiotic, how could he actually think he had a chance with this gorgeous man? How could he actually think that what they had was more then just friends with benefits? (were they even friends?) Especially considering they never established what they actually wanted from the other and therefore never put labels on each other. 

Once again he had made up this conception in his head that they both had inwardly made their connection, that they knew they belonged to each other just like in one of those dramas or romance novels- what a fucking joke. The pain of wishing, and hoping that maybe Connor would want him the way he wanted him, only had left his heart battered and bruised. He had been so angry when he found out about Connor sleeping with that- that- whatever he was. 

He knew that Connor was guilty about it, guilty about being one of the causes of someone dying, and yet he still couldn't control the betrayal he had felt. He knew deep in his mind that him and Connor were never in a relationship so technically Connor never cheated, but he was listening to his heart and he bashed Connor without hearing the stuttered explanation. 

He wished that his heart was torn out of his chest, wished that he wouldn't have to feel the pain he was feeling, he knew that the hurt in Connor's eyes was nothing compared to the hurt in his heart. And that hurt wasn't only caused by the cheating, it was also from the realization that their relationship was toxic. Poison. An addiction. 

He needed Connor the way a drug addict needed drugs, he needed Connor the way a serial killer needed to kill someone- and that, that was truly dangerous. How far would he go for Connor? And honest to God, he really didn't want to know because he scared himself just thinking about it because he knew he would go that far. 

Something everyone forgets to mention about love is that it's a double edged sword, yes the love was amazing and outstanding and that nothing could ever match up to it, but love could also kill. The feeling was too surreal, it was almost similar to being tortured slowly, first starting with the beating before then evolving. It left him breathless, gasping for air that just wouldn't come. 

Even when he left Connor, it just wouldn't come. 

So, that's how he started to rant inwardly about it, try and figure out how to control his urges. Try and figure out where it went all wrong, was it the words? The smile? The laugh? The rough sex? Or the caring? The sweet words? The cuddling? The dates? 

Fuck, if he only he knew so he could try and get over it, try and forget, but he knew it wasn't that easy. Forgetting Connor Walsh would never be that easy, he could have sex with any other man, can close his eyes and try to pretend that the person he was looking down on didn't have similar features to Connor. He could pretend, but he knew the difference between all this flings and Connor. 

He had sex with them and he made love with Connor. 

Love was cruel, the only intention the emotion really having was to kill and to bury. And yet, Oliver Hampton couldn't imagine a life without it, a life without Connor Walsh, and for that he would endure all the pain that was shot at him.

Because even though love drowned him it still kept him breathing underwater.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I mentioned a thousand times that I'm not a big Oliver/Connor fan (because I feel like this couple is just doomed) but I really wanted to explore Oliver's POV and even though I didn't give it justice I hope you enjoyed~ 
> 
> Kudos, comments, whatever else is appreciated and loved~ 
> 
> A/N: Tomorrow is fall finale~ Excited!!!!


End file.
